Enough Said

I'm sitting on my couch right now, looking around my empty apartment. As with everything else I seem to go through, my sadness at leaving Atlanta, where I've been living for the last two years, has had a delayed onset. It wasn't brought on by the going away barbecue last week, or by the reception at work, but by wandering through the department I've been based in, and saying individual goodbyes to the people I've interacted with almost every day (or not even) during my time here. Anyone who reads this blog, regularly or not, can probably figure out that despite trying to act otherwise, I'm pretty sentimental.

I still remember the foggy morning of my flight out of Melbourne, which delayed my departure by four hours, and the prolonged agony this caused my parents and I. Similarly, I also remember shutting the door of the hotel room where I spent the first couple of nights here before moving into my apartment, and bursting into tears. I'm by no means at that point now, but I realise that despite the many times that I've whined and moaned about how thankless science is, how crap the hours are, how selfish/neurotic/demanding/just plain nuts some co-workers are etc., I wouldn't change a moment of my time here.

The trouble with having uprooted yourself for a period of time, and then returning, is wondering what exactly it is you're returning to. Have you changed? If you have, are you better or worse than when you left? Have others? Is there a place for you where you're going? The list goes on, even though I try not to dwell on it for too long.

One guy I used to work with back home, gave me a pisstake guide for Australians living in America, particularly those who have come to the U.S. to undertake a post-doc. A recurring theme in that guide was how you'd never have a social life anyway and your life would revolve around the lab. My professional hopes and aims got squished in the last few months, due in part to my own mismanagement and apathy, but I've realised that in the scheme of things, it's not actually a big deal. I'm not sure how much science I've learnt while I've been here, but I've certainly figured out a lot about human nature. I've been on the receiving end of so much generosity and I don't think that it's something unique to the south since I've experienced it everywhere (except in New York City where people are generally rude unless they're trying to hustle you). After living here, I'll happily continue to take the piss out of certain things like rednecks, banjoes, Alabama, liberal use of the Confederate flag, oversized meals, crap coffee, Hummers, crap chocolate, confusing Australia with Austria, disgraceful health system, Dubya, talking loudly, MARTA buses never running on time etc., but I would never say that Yanks are mean or stingy.

There's a long list of things that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't come over here. And many people I wouldn't have met or learned from either, each of whom I will sorely miss. There are also many things from back home that I no longer take for granted. Let's hope this new found perspective stays around.